Water Night

Night with the eyes of a horse that trembles in the night,
night with eyes of water in the field asleep
is in your eyes, a horse that trembles,
is in your eyes of secret water.
Eyes of shadow-water,
eyes of well-water,
eyes of dream-water.
Silence and solitude,
two little animals moon-led,
drink in your eyes,
drink in those waters.
If you open your eyes,
night opens, doors of musk,
the secret kingdom of the water opens
flowing from the center of night.
And if you close your eyes,
a river fills you from within,
flows forward, darkens you:
night brings its wetness to beaches in your soul.
Octavio Paz, 1914-1998
(Adapted by Eric Whitacre, Translation by Muriel Rukeyser)

I'm a huge fan of Eric Whitacre's choral music. One of the cool things that he does is set up a virtual choir, where people from all over the world record themselves singing one of his pieces, and sound/video technicians mesh all the videos together into one massive choir. This year's virtual choir piece is 'Water Night', text above. The music complements the poetry beautifully. As a first soprano, I love being given the opportunity to let my voice soar up to the A-flats around the line 'If you open your eyes...'. I also love the melodies given to the inner parts, particularly the altos at the very end. And the bass E-flats make me melt.

Last year, my choir sang another of Eric Whitacre's pieces, 'When David Heard', and there was a bit of a disagreement about how to sing the opening section. One of the guys in my choir asked Eric on his facebook page, and he actually replied. So not only is he an amazing composer, but a nice bloke, too!

So if anybody wants to join in this amazing, international project, here's the link:

http://virtualchoir.ericwhitacre.com/

Weddings and the Other City

Please note: The following is to be read with a tone of melodrama. When I am upset by something silly that I can't fix, my tendency i to cheer myself up by exaggerating my perceived problems until they reach the point of melodrama.

For some reason, a lot of my friends have decided to get married in a short pace of time. Two have decided to start my wedding season with a double-whammy of weddings on the same weekend. So I've recently attended two beautiful ceremonies, complete with blushing brides and dashing grooms. This is all well and good, but weddings can be bittersweet occasions for the singles among our number. It may be simply the double dose of in-your-face, loved-up coupledom, but it's taken me a little longer than usual to bounce back to my cheery self.

I'll talk more about wedding number 2, because this is the one that's got me a little blue. Probably because after wedding number 1, I jumped in the car and drove for five hours in order to get to wedding number 2.

Photos were taken, vows were exchanged, ritual was undertaken and suddenly a married couple stood where my two single friends had been. I congratulated the bride and groom, caught up with friends, and had tea and biscuits. So far, so good.

Then the reception started. I bade farewell to the friends wha hadn't been invited (including a young man who I was hoping would be my fake-date for the evening), drank champagne, ate deep fried canapes, found my seat and introduced myself to the people on my table. Again, so far, so good.

Roast beef was eaten (never more welcome than when staying with my vegetarian grandmother), speeches were given, toasts were offered, the coversation was as light and effervescent as the champagne. Coffee and cake were served and then it was time for the bridal waltz. And that's where things started to go downhill for my mood. The new Mr and Mrs danced well (it was more of a bridal ceroc, but bridal waltz just sounds cooler), but when it came time for others to join them on the floor, I realised that I was an odd-numbered wheel. (Some would have stopped that sentence at 'odd'.) I love dancing, and would have loved to join, but had to wait until the traditional twosome two-step disintegrated into the every-man-for-himself boogie. I wanted to dance with somebody. I wanted to feel the heat with somebody. Yeah, I wanted to dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me.

I conveniently had to go to the bathroom to touch up my lipstick as the bride threw her bouquet into the waiting gaggle of girls (who, consolingly, were predominantly intelligent women in their 20s, rather than the rest of the youth group girls, as is so often the case in Christian circles). After farewelling the bride and groom, I decided to call it a night and head home to my 93-year-old grandmother, who had insisted on waiting up for me, despite the fact it was past 11pm.

As I tried to go to sleep, watching the hour hand tick past 2am, I couldn't help but think about what my life would be like if I were married. Especially if I were married to a particular man I know who's handsome, funny, intelligent, well-muscled, mature, attractive, musical, a strong Christian, athletic, has beautiful eyes. And did I mention that he's drop-dead-gorgeous? Contrasting this imagined life with my current, actual real life as a lonely loner, walking down a lonely road, alone, didn't stack up too well as the hour of the morning became yet more ridiculous. I tried to convince myself that I don't need to get married, because Jesus is enough, and God has a plan for me, and His timing is perfect, but even my alternate personality wasn't listening to me. Way to go, sista, deserting me at my time of need.

At a later stage, this post's sequel will be a more serious look at love and life as a Christian (because it's not like the internet isn't full of that already), but in the meantime, I suppose the moral of the story is:

Don't touch the coffee after 9pm!

20 Questions

I stole these questions from Chronicler over at 'Annals of a Christian Single'. It seemed like a nice, easy blog post for a lazy Sunday afternoon, when I really should be having a busy Sunday afternoon doing the things that didn't happen on Saturday. Never mind.

 

1.  What's the nerdiest and/or weirdest thing about you? 
I have a strange ability to have detailed and in-depth conversations with myself. This seems to occur just about every time I'm alone.  

2. If you could live in a fictional universe from any book, movie,  or television show, what would it be?
I always liked the idea of the Oxford that Lyra lives in, from the series 'His Dark Materials'. Having your soul living outside your body as a shape-shifting animal that can talk to you would be pretty awesome. (See question one for more about conversations with myself.)

3. Little or big, practical or frivolous, what are a few of your favorite items in your house?
Since I don't really have the lifestyle stability to own a real piano (I don't know where I'll be living in a month, let alone a year or five),  I love my full length, weighted and touch sensitive keyboard that fits in my tiny little car, and is light enough for me to carry all by myself. My bed is also pretty cool. It has a comfy mattress and snuggly blankies. I also love my black leather and suede shoes that are cute enough to get compliments every time I wear them, and comfy enough to wear all the time.

4. Do you like animated movies? If so, what is your favorite?   
I suppose it depends on the movie - there is too much variety within animations to group them all together. My favourite movie of all time is an animated movie - Beauty and the Beast. The animation is spectacularly beautiful, and the songs are closer to perfect than anything else I've come across. 

5. What is your least favorite household chore?
Vacuuming. I hate the noise that a vacuum cleaner makes.  

6. What's your favorite thing to get at Starbucks (or favorite coffee shop)? 
Truth be told, I've never bought anything from starbucks. I'd rather support a local, independent cafe than a multinational chain. Plus, the closest starbucks is about 3000 km away. When I order coffee, my standard order is a cappucino.

7. What is your favorite pizza topping?
Supreme or vegetarian. Something with lots of delicious flavours.

8. Waffles or pancakes?
Probably waffles, because I don't own a waffle iron, so they're something special. I can make pancakes any time I want. 

9. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
It changed by the day. Lawyer, flight attendant, undercover cop, actor, speech pathologist, dentist, artist, concert pianist, aeroplane (when I was very, very little).

10. Do you prefer cooking or baking?
What's the difference? If I assume that cooking means meals and baking means cakes and biscuits, I actually don't mind. I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so baking's good. I also enjoy playing "What can I make with the contents of my fridge?" at dinner time. 

11. What would be your dream job?
Something that involves working with children and making music....wait....

12. Do you make your bed every morning?
Much to my mother's consternation, almost never.

13. Picasso or Norman Rockwell?
Is it really bad that I just looked up Norman Rockwell? Picasso.

14. Do you like carpet, tile, or hardwood floors? 
Hardwood floors for sure. You don't have to vacuum (see question five) and they have a warmer, friendlier feel than tiles. 

15. What is your least favorite thing about yourself??
Physically - I have mild poland syndrome. Personality/habits - my messiness/disorganisation

16. Last movie you watched??
I actually can't remember. It might have been 'Water for Elephants'.

17. Computer or Television??
I use my computer as a TV, so computer. 

18. Favorite Sound?
I love the timbre of the marimba.

19. If you could have a $5000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?  

Practically speaking, I'd probably put the money toward a house deposit. But hypothetically,
I'd buy a marimba. That would probably take the entire $5000. Otherwise, I'm going through a bit of a vintage clothing kick at the moment, so maybe a website like modcloth.com.

20. If you could be any Jane Austen fictional character who would you choose (or if you would prefer any fictional character)?  

I'm ashamed to say this out loud, but I really strongly connected with the Mary portrayed in the movie of Pride and Prejudice starring Keira Knightley. (I know, I know, I should be talking about the original novels, or at least the BBC adaptation (which I prefer in almost every way)).


There we go. A little bit more about 'the real me'. Not bad for an anonymous blog. You're welcome.

Am I a Feminist?

Some days I think so, and some I think not. I suppose, like so many things, a definition is key. (Side note: I love words and think languages are fascinating. When I'm a crazy 80-year-old lady who doesn't want to leave any money to her grandkids, I'm going to go back to uni and study linguistics.)
Anyway, the following was found at dictionary.com (my Collins concise is too far away at the moment):
Feminist (adj.): Advocating, social, political, legal and economic rights for women equal to those of men.
(noun): an advocate of such rights.

I guess by that definition, I'm not really a feminist, because I don't spend much time advocating for anything. I do hold a few beliefs and values that some may describe as feminist, but others that might be described as very old-fashioned and steeped in patriarchy.

1) I don't hate men. Many of the men I encounter are lovely creatures. In fact, I like men so much that one day, I hope to marry one.

2) Although I one day wish to get married, I don't discount the importance of what I do as a single woman. I'm working as a music teacher because I think that what I do is important, not because I need something to do to fill in the time before Mr Right comes along to sweep me off my feet.

3) Although I think my job is important, if/when I have children, I'd love to be a stay-at-home mum, at least before my children go to school. I realise that this depends on unknowable future circumstances, but I really appreciate that my mum made the decision to stay home with her kids, and we were always her first priority.

4) An argument I recently read against feminism is that it encouraged sexual promiscuity. I wasn't alive in the 50s and 60s, so I don't know for sure, but apparently there was (still is?) a double standard in terms of appropriate sexual behaviour. I'd like to argue that I don't agree with promiscuity for either men or women. Granted, physical consequences of sex are often greater for women than for men. That's just biology.

5) I dislike most of the stereotypes pertaining to women. The other day, I was browsing through an advertising leaflet from a book shop. There were two facing pages, one with books recommended for men, the other recommending books for women. Both my mother and I thought the books for men (linguistics, science, economics) looked much more interesting than the books for women (fashion and baking). I dislike the picture this paints of shallow, brainless women.

6) I think women should be able to choose any career they want. Engineer, lawyer, teacher, home-maker, hair-dresser, musician. Any of these job titles could equally apply to men. Gender shouldn't play a part in it.

7) I don't think the pay-gap statistics are a paticularly valid argument. More women than men choose to work in lower paying jobs such as childcare, and more men choose to work higher-paid mining jobs, for example. Equal pay for equal work is something I strongly support, although equality between sectors won't be realistic unless Australia suddenly decides that communism is a great idea.

8) Men and women are different, but differences exist between women and between men as well. How many of these differences are innate and how many are taught is something we will probably never know.