Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Best Medicine

Today was a rather amusing day. I spent the day with the school concert band I help to run, performing at local primary schools. The band is made up of a great bunch of kids, all of whom gave me a little bit of a giggle. But two things today made me laugh so much that I just have to tell people about them:

1) The band has three percussionists, all teenage boys. One of the boys was so tired before our final concert that he decided to have a little lie down on the stage. So one of the other boys tucked him in under an old towel and I decided to play a lullaby on the glockenspiel. As you do. A few minutes later, we realised that the kid was still very quiet, and had actually fallen asleep. But the concert was about to start, and we needed to wake him up. After shaking his foot, he still didn't wake up, but rolled over saying "I don't want to go to school". We eventually had to play the crash cymbals in his face to wake him up. It was one of those teaching moments that makes your heart swell about three sizes!

2) I've recently been talked into joining the Bible reading roster at church, so once a month I read the passage from the Bible that the day's sermon is based on. My church is currently doing a sermon series on marriage (and I won't go into details here about being a cynical spinster who doesn't think that a 6-week series on marriage is really necessary). Anyway, today I've been told that this week's reading is from the book of Song of Songs. So come this Sunday, I will have to publicly say things like "Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine", "Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon", and "Your breasts are like clusters of fruit". As a Christian, I think that all of God's word is important and useful, but if I can get through this reading without dissolving into fits of giggles, it will be a major achievement. (And if a man ever says things like that to me, he's going to get what's coming to him, probably involving a black eye!)

What has made you laugh today?

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

This is why I don't have #twitter

I once heard somebody say that to fully grasp the concept of twitter, you have to imagine everyone in the world shouting everything they're thinking into a megaphone. But that's not the reason I don't have twitter. It's more to do with the fact that I don't exactly want everybody in the world to know the crazy things that I'm thinking and doing. But you, o priveledged portion of the blogosphere, have achieved the entitlement of knowing exactly why I don't have twitter.

  • I've discovered that if you put all of your usual breakfast ingredients into a blender, it turns into a banana flavoured cappucino foam
  • Does anybody else remember hair mascara? I never really got that stuff. Is it supposed to go over all your hair, or just streaks?
  • This, my friends, is the technique known as 'flirt to convert'. I'm not sure if it's a great idea or not.
  • "Miss, I really like the way you've done your ears today", says a seven-year-old-girl.
  • Dark coloured dressing gowns are better when worn around the shoulders while jumping around the house pretending to be batman/the phantom of the opera.
  •  "I'm going to stop being silly now, and start being sensitive", says another crazy seven-year-old.
  • Stop the world! I want to get off!
  • 'Won't you be my Pavlov, I could be your chocolate cake, we could form a habit neither one of us can break'.
  • Nooooo! Starburns is dead!!!!! He was my favourite.
  • Finishing the final season of Community is like saying goodbye to an old friend that was with me through my honours year.
  • Evil Abed is really creepy.
  • But if the guy goes back in time to remove his reason to go back in time, how does that work?
  • "Spring is here, spring is here, life is skittles and life is beer'. Even though I don't like beer. 

I think you're all starting to get the idea. Welcome, yet again, to my crazy life!