This is why I don't have #twitter

I once heard somebody say that to fully grasp the concept of twitter, you have to imagine everyone in the world shouting everything they're thinking into a megaphone. But that's not the reason I don't have twitter. It's more to do with the fact that I don't exactly want everybody in the world to know the crazy things that I'm thinking and doing. But you, o priveledged portion of the blogosphere, have achieved the entitlement of knowing exactly why I don't have twitter.

• I've discovered that if you put all of your usual breakfast ingredients into a blender, it turns into a banana flavoured cappucino foam
• Does anybody else remember hair mascara? I never really got that stuff. Is it supposed to go over all your hair, or just streaks?
• This, my friends, is the technique known as 'flirt to convert'. I'm not sure if it's a great idea or not.
• "Miss, I really like the way you've done your ears today", says a seven-year-old-girl.
• Dark coloured dressing gowns are better when worn around the shoulders while jumping around the house pretending to be batman/the phantom of the opera.
•  "I'm going to stop being silly now, and start being sensitive", says another crazy seven-year-old.
• Stop the world! I want to get off!
• 'Won't you be my Pavlov, I could be your chocolate cake, we could form a habit neither one of us can break'.
• Nooooo! Starburns is dead!!!!! He was my favourite.
• Finishing the final season of Community is like saying goodbye to an old friend that was with me through my honours year.
• Evil Abed is really creepy.
• But if the guy goes back in time to remove his reason to go back in time, how does that work?
• "Spring is here, spring is here, life is skittles and life is beer'. Even though I don't like beer. 

I think you're all starting to get the idea. Welcome, yet again, to my crazy life!