A slightly feminist mini rant

Maybe I sometimes get a bit too picky over the use of language, and the unintentional meanings that come out of a flippant or occasionally even well-meant phrase. This morning, a friend posted on the book-of-face an article entitled '8 Things my father taught me about respecting women'. Now while I appreciated the sentiments behind the article, I did have a problem with the title of the first point: 'That's Someone's Daughter'.

I do have several questions and concerns about this statement. Firstly, it places a woman's worth in her relationships, rather than in herself. This value of women's relationships over women's value in and of herself is an unhealthy bent of our society. It does beg the question - what if that woman isn't someone's daughter? What if she lost her parents, either through death or other circumstances? Does this mean that she is not worthy of respect?

The same value of a woman's relationship over a woman herself can sometimes be seen in dating and hookup culture. If I want to reject a man's advances, I usually do so with a polite yet firm "I'm not interested." Funnily enough, this doesn't always work (not even in my best teacher voice!) If I feel threatened by the situation, I will lie and say that I have a boyfriend. There are unfortunately many men in the world who respect the 'ownership' of my absent, non-existent partner over and above the respect offered to the wishes of a woman who is actually there.

So while I acknowledge the sentiment behind the "That's Someone's Daughter" argument, a much more positive turn of phrase would be "Remember that women are people too'. A woman's personhood is what gives her worth, rather than her relationships. Men of the world - continue to follow the advice in the article (pay for her dinner, walk her to the door, etc.) but do so while remembering rule number one: Remember that women are people too. Sometimes a woman will prefer to pay for her own dinner, or drive herself home after an evening out. If that is the case, listen to her, respect her wishes, remember that she is a person too.

I think this may well be the golden rule of feminism - Remember that women are people too!